and when human hearts are breaking

I woke up at 8 a.m. to a knock on my door, which is unusual since most of us sleep way past that if possible.

I opened the door and all I hear is "Cameron's dead" and suddenly I'm crying, and my dear friend/one of my freshmen is crying because her sister is now gone, and her parents are there to take her home.

She was 16. A sophomore in high school. Died in a freak accident while on an exchange trip.

I can't stop crying. All I've done today is cry, send a cookie bouquet, call my mom, send 15 emails to relevant people, and watch nature documentaries with my freshmen while we talk about how much this sucks and how those who would like to can get to the memorial service.

(I live with freshmen-did I mention that?)

It's at terrible moments like this that I just feel so angry. But at least she died instantaneously. That is something to be thankful for. She died happy, having an adventure, with a dear friend by her side...but she's gone. Leaving behind her best friend/sister and two incredible parents, a huge family, and many, many friends.

However, it's at terrible moments like this that I remember what an amazing community I live in. I emailed my professor telling him why I would not be at our 9 a.m. class. I emailed administrators telling them how we were handling things regarding our other freshmen. I emailed people I had meetings with canceling them. And somehow this network has emerged, supporting our close-knit hall and especially supporting the girl whose sister died. It's this quiet web of offers of help, of understanding, of absolutely incredible people, and I am so grateful for it.

And I am thankful to have gotten to know her while she was alive. Even if it was only building with legos, watching Survivor, and cooking Thanksgiving dinner together, I feel blessed to have known Cameron.

My apologies if this isn't particularly coherent. It's been a long morning.